Non-Jews are for practice
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He passed out mid-signature
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just gargled with NyQuil
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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