hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
