i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
