FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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