i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
