This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
