if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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