so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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