McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
