and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
