Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Drunk is not a location!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
