I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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