I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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