dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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