There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
