If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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