I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
