WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
