Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize