no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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