I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
