he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
