I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
