You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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