I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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