About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
