Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You made out with two different species that night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
