shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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