We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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