would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
