I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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