her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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