just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
