laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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