piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
