she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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