I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
