the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
