so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
