Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
