My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
