She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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