I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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