Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
