I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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