That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize