i jhust puked up my retainher.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
