Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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