he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
