zippers are such a cool invention
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize