i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you inspire me to be a worse person
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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