Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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