Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
