are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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