I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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