remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
