That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
