I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
