just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize