that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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