I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize