It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
They should really pass out barf bags in church
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
