My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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