Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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